I re-entered the dating pool about a year ago after ending a 15 year relationship and I’ve have no problems with meeting men online and dating as a result of it, but meeting guys offline??

I’ve got NO Game!

I guess I missed some valuable lessons in dating being all committed and monogamous for the majority of my adult life… and it’s not that I don’t know how to play the game, I am just naturally bad at it!

I’ve been told on many occasions that I have no game and  I don’t “look” available when I am out. I’ve never been the girl that guys approach in public and it’s an extreme rarity that a guy will offer to buy me a drink when I am out.

So, the other night I’m out with my two BFFs and this guy comes up beside me at the bar where I’m seated to order a couple beers. I moved to give him way and offered some help getting the bartender’s attention…warning him with a laugh that they often ignore me here.

He asked if he could get me something to drink. I guess the empty glass in front of me was a little pathetic, but I declined. It’s not that I didn’t want another drink or that he was unattractive in any way, but my natural response was “No Thank You”… WTF is wrong with me??

He asked me twice more and I continued to decline for no good reason at all.  All I could think of was getting out of there. In hindsight I realize that I was being completely foolish and it really wouldn’t have killed me to accept and have a conversation with this guy.

I guess this is just a habit I need to break. Some social defect I need to overcome. My brain still has some mentality of being unavailable and before I even had a chance to consider this guys offer I was cutting him off.

I seriously have no idea how to “get game” or if it can even be gotten, but I think I will put this on my wish list per chance any man ever approaches me in public again.

I welcome all suggestions… am I hopeless??

I’ve been thinking a lot about the idea of a soul-mate lately. I’ve always believed that somewhere out there was someone who shared a connection with me greater then this life. My one true love.

Yes, I believe in past lives and I feel that our souls carry a connection from life to life and if you are lucky, and the connection is strong, then fate will bring you together in future lives.

The Urban Dictionary defines a soul-mate as “The one person who can always make you smile, who shares your hopes and dreams, who makes you whole.” Based on this I have been fortunate enough to have found many soul-mates, but not “The One”. No, he is still out there somewhere… hopefully in search of me too.

Further definition states “Folklore claims that when a soul descends to earth it splits in two, each half of the soul inhabiting a separate body. These two people are forever after ‘soulmates,’ and will never be complete until they find one another.” How utterly fairy tale…I can just feel the dreamy sparkles in my eyes.

So, I asked my friends on Twitter and Facebook if they believed in soul-mates and after the responses I received I am starting to think now that soul-mates can be greater then just your one true love.

According to Merriam-Webster.com a Soul-mate is defined as “a person who is perfectly suited to another in temperament”, which very well could mean best friends and such. Especially my BFFs…they’d never be able to stand me with out a similar temperament.

Well, Perhaps they are the people who are most meaningful in your life. Those who take you at your best or your worst and love you unconditionally? The ones who make you laugh so hard you cry? Those who are always there for you no matter what?

All I know is I really like the idea of a soul-mate. I imagine one day mine will find me out of the blue, very random and completely unexpected… then we will ride off into the sunset.

Ok, enough of the day dreaming. Must get back to work, but I am interested to hear if anyone out there has found their soul-mate and the story that goes along with it.

Please do share!

I posed a question to Twitter and Facebook the other day about absolute deal breakers when considering who you will date.

This is a commonly discussed subject in my dating circle and I am constantly reevaluating my own laundry list of what I want/don’t want to deal with regarding the men I will date.

I received some really great feedback. Many things which I had never thought of were mentioned, like Religion. I was raised Catholic, yet I have never been baptized nor do I frequent church (sorry Granny) so this has not been a consideration in my search. I guess it could become one if I get a flood of messages from overly religious men, but I don’t think I’d feel comfortable dating someone who is highly dedicated to any religion… it’s just not something I’ve made a part of my adult life…and that is not to say I wouldn’t be willing to make it so, but initially it would make me a little uncomfortable.

We all have these lists and I hear more often then not that I am limiting myself and how I could be missing out on something great!, but honestly I can’t see how not wanting to date someone who smokes, or who lives miles and miles away is limiting me as much as it would make dating more difficult.

Now I will admit I have a few ridiculous requirements… like “must like seafood!” Really! I never imagined this would be an issue, and I’m not saying it really is, because I am more than willing to overlook this when I’ve come across it in someone I am interested in getting to know better. Perhaps I’m over thinking things, or just being the loyal New Englander that I am…. but food dis-likes seem to be a common thing.

I suppose this is all just part of meeting, dating and getting to know someone. If they are worth it in other aspects it should be easy to over look the little things.